Hibernation

"She was unstoppable, not because she did not have failures or doubts, but because she went on despite them."- Beau Taplin

So, I haven't written/been on this blog in two years, which is crazy. The last thing I wrote about was the premier of Game of Thrones🙈 I'm trying to pick it up again though because so much has happened and I have a lot more to say now. #characterdevelopment

I called this post 'Hibernation' because that's kind of what I've been doing the last 5 or 6 months.

Let me back up a bit before I jump into this epiphany I had. The last two years, I was hustling (to the point of exhaustion and burnout) in New York City. I moved three times, auditioned hundreds of times, got rejected hundreds of times, took classes, walked in the rain, sleet, and snow, made new friends, and just adjusted to life in the city that never sleeps.

All that being said...I was extremely unhappy and unfulfilled, but I ignored how I was feeling because I had been told my whole life that it was New York or bust. I had it in my mind that if I left New York, I was failing, I was quitting, or I was a loser, but when my grandfather was checked into the hospital almost a year ago to this date and I was 1,548 miles away, I knew I'd had enough.

I was not and am not a person that wants to be away from my family, so after agonizing about my decision, I decided to move home to Dallas to pursue my dream.

And let me tell you, friends, that move 6 months ago was simultaneously the hardest and best thing I've ever done for myself. I've grown more than I thought was possible from that moment a year ago to now.

And the past 6 months in my favorite place, Texas, I have put in the work. The ugly, hard work that is not glamorous, that no one wants to hear about, but it has PAID OFF.

I have been in a Hibernation. Self-reflecting, and learning to understand that it's not Broadway or bust. I have not failed. New York will be there for me when I want to go back.

I have never been happier and more at peace with myself and the people around me. I cheer for people now instead of compare how much "further" they are than I am in life.

I am about to go into my fourth show, I have an agent that believes in me, I'm surrounded by the best support system in the world, I've made new life long friends, and I have two wonderful survival jobs that I enjoy.

I say all this, not to brag, but to tell you, if you are unhappy change your circumstances. Take a leap of faith and go the road less traveled. Don't listen to what other people say about YOUR journey. It will seriously make all the difference.

I still have a long way to go inside and out. I want more for my life and I feel like I'm on the precipice of a brand new path that I thought would never be for me. And I am so excited!

What are some things that you feel are holding you back? Comment below, I'd love to start a discussion about these lies we tell ourselves.

For me, it was the crippling fear of what society was telling me was failure, worrying about what other's thought, and feeling like a quitter, but these are all lies that are told to us or we tell ourselves.

Change your thoughts and your life will change.

This turned into quite the novel and if you got this far...yay!! I want to keep writing on all topics, so you if have ideas or want to hear more about my journey to get to this place let me know!

<3

Em

What I'm listening to: "20 Something" https://open.spotify.com/track/4h6ViRoztTBpWcJ1zFT9Zg